“It is my conviction that there is no way to peace – peace is the way.” -Thich Nhat Hanh
I got rid of my car in 1992 and started cycling as my main form of transportation. I love the freedom, the exercise, the feeling in my body. The one problem was that biking on the busy downtown streets where I live often felt unsafe. I was doored a few times, each time bringing up intense fear, picturing a car running over me as I fell to the ground.
Then Toronto started to install more dedicated bike lanes. A few years ago, they were built on three major city roads, spanning the length and width of the city and separated from car traffic. Wonderful. Safe. Riding became much more relaxed.
But recently, Ontario premier Doug Ford and his rightwing government passed a law requiring that these new bike lanes be removed. Despite it being a municipal matter, he plans to send in the province’s own work crews in the spring to undo the city’s work and rip out the separate bike lanes in favour of putting more cars on the road. WTF!
Thinking about this, I feel caught in a vice. Fear and anger shoot up. Having been a lawyer, I know the odds are stacked in favour of the province. The thoughts come fast and furious. “When the crews come to remove them, I won’t let them. I don’t care if I go to jail! … I’ve got to stop this! … If they’re removed, I’ll ride my bike in the centre of Bloor street. I’ll make sure removal of bike lanes slows down traffic. But then I’ll get run over. Fuck!! Doug Ford is such an asshole!!”
It’s amazing what the mind can do when the outside world doesn’t match my mental model of how things should be. How things “need” to be. Big-time fear comes up. Survival is at stake. “I can’t let this happen!”
Later the mind calms. It wonders “where is this taking me?” Not anywhere I want to go. So what to do, give up the fight? No. I want to do something to right this wrong. To protect myself and others. But if I get involved, how can I maintain my peace, my joy?
Okay, I try to remember – “I am happy with bike lanes. I am happy without bike lanes.” This is my mantra. Either way, I have all the conditions I need to be happy. I will not give away my peace, my joy, no matter what.
I am a student of the late Vietnamese Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh, affectionately known as “Thay” (teacher). During the Vietnam War, he took part in peace marches in New York. He saw a lot of anger in the marchers, and he told them “if you want peace, be peace.” He knew that if you want peace in the world, you must cultivate peace in yourself.
What causes war? I once heard Thay Phap An, my favourite monk at Plum Village answer this question. He was the one all the other monks went to for advice. It was the summer of 2006. Israel had invaded Lebanon and a young Israeli man asked what causes war. Here’s what Thay Phap An said:
“The war in Iraq, right now, the war between Israel and Lebanon that happens right now, is a collective manifestation of our violence. Please do not think that your violence does not contribute to that violence in Iraq.
The sentence that you tell your children with hatred, with anger, contributes to the war in Iraq. Believe it or not. We are interconnected. We are interrelated. At a much deeper level, we belong to a single reality.
The moment that we are able to express our love to our beloved one, we are able to express a kind word to a friend, we hope that reality of love manifests. The moment that we say only one, one unkind word to another friend, will contribute to the war here and there on Earth. We are all responsible. We are all responsible for what is going on right now in this very moment.”
I had heard things like this, but I never believed them until that moment. I was in tears. I felt every unkind or violent word or deed of mine put this energy out into the world. That in asking why there was war, the first place I needed to look was within. Not to assign blame (though my mind did go there), but rather because I can actually change what I say and do. I have much less ability to change what others say or do. I have very little influence over Doug Ford, Benjamin Netanyahu, Hamas, or Trump. But I have a lot of influence over me!
I want peace in the world. And I very much want peace in myself. Through my practice, I’ve seen how wonderful peace is. When the body and the mind relax, there is peace. There is joy. There is wonder. In a recent Home Base article, Jeff called it “the sacred-weird-cosmic-perfection-of-now.” Exactly.
Much of the time, my body and mind are not relaxed. This feels unpleasant, but I am often unaware. Instead, I’m only aware of an urge to escape. To eat, look at the screen, call someone, do something. When my mindfulness is there, I don’t do any of these things. Instead, I go to my breath and body. I notice the unpleasant sensations. I let them in.
I let the energy pass through me. I know that even if it feels like it’s not going anywhere, the act of letting it in, of dropping the struggle against it, of appreciating the gift of this moment – this is an act of letting go that will release the negative energy. That will transform it into peace and joy.
There’s still the issue of the outside world though. How can I think and act kindly towards someone like Doug Ford? I find the answer is understanding that, like me, he wants to be happy. He believes what he’s doing is right. And he suffers. He has “samskaras”, those stored energy blockages or patterns of mind that drive all of us to do what we do.
Doug Ford is my teacher, because he shows me my samskaras. He shows me where I can transform, if I accept the invitation. If I can remember that whatever happens is not happening to me, it’s happening for me.
So far, I’ve only dipped my toe into the fight to save the bike lanes, but I plan to get more involved. And to be on the lookout for my samskaras. When I see I’ve lost my peace, I will stop, breathe, and drop my resistance to the moment. There is nothing more important than my peace, not even the bike lanes. As Thay said, “there is no way to peace. Peace is the way.”
p.s. Studies show bike lanes reduce accidents for all road users and have little to no materials adverse impact on car travel times. Cycle Toronto is leading the charge to save bike lanes. They have launched a Charter challenge against their removal. If you want to help, please sign their petition.
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