Articles

Taking out the trash

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Kindness is an unfolding, spacious opening, not a destination we strive for. The deeper we go with ourselves the more we can access this place of deep connection with others, creating a compassionate foundation from which kindness can flow in all directions.

These acts of kindness don’t need to be grand gestures. Simple, micro moments – an acknowledgement, a smile, looking in someone’s eyes during a conversation, really, truly listening…acts of kindness are the language of love. The Dalai Lama says, “My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.”

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The Cultivation of Interdependence  

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No surprise that interdependence can feel like sweet balm in an otherwise-imbalanced world. But what we seem to forget is that interdependence isn’t something we have to try for, orchestrate or strive for. It’s something we simply can’t fall out of.

In other words, you do not have to try to be interdependent. You simply can’t not be.

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Hint: the cage is not locked.  

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As we let go of a search for freedom. Or liberation or immortality or whatever word is as far away as the perfect wedding or train ride and begin to understand what we actually hold as incredibly more perfect because the million happenings have been smithing it from the beginning. 

It is why we practice mindfulness. Not to get anywhere, but to be.

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May I Be In My Practice a Full Half-Hour Before My Ego Knows I’m Awake.

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So I’ve started to bring more curiosity and openness to how I wake up. What thoughts am I first aware of? Do they come with or cause any emotional affect in the body? Or am I driven to thoughts to distract myself from some emotional discomfort already present in the body? And whatever I notice, can I meet it with equanimity, just allow it without any resistance, agenda, or need for it to go away or be other than it is?

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Being Wilderness

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In the Buddhist tradition, the elements — fire, water, earth, air, space — are a way of knowing the living texture of reality itself, how it moves and changes and dances on its own. The elements are not on any self-improvement mission. Fire is just warm. Earth just heaps. Water coheres, air moves, and space accommodates. Nature is not FOR anything. It just IS. Us too.

But easier said than felt. We tend to reign over the wilderness of the bodymind like land-developers, trimming the unruly underbrush, damming up the emotional rivers, paving over the spooky swamps where the wild things are. Even stillness and meditation, tools of self-discovery, can get co-opted into this project of self-control and self-curation. We don’t even realize we’re doing it. And as a total and continuous experience of being, it is exhausting.

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Holding on to Let Go

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In Attachment Theory, the original sense of safety is provided by our primary caregiver. They either meet our needs consistently in a way that helps us trust that our needs will be met, or they don’t, which leads to a fundamental mistrust that others, and the world in general, will be able to meet our needs.

When we take this perspective, that a sense of safety helps us relax and trust, then we can begin to see that these principles aren’t actually in contrast to much of what’s taught in Buddhism.

Buddhism has these principles embedded all through it. If you were to become a traditional Buddhist, you’d do something that’s called Taking Refuge. You take refuge in The Three Jewels, which are The Buddha (the teacher or enlightened ideal), The Dharma (the teachings or truth of the path), and the Sangha (the community).

While the Buddha preached non-attachment, The Three Jewels definitely look like forms of attachment to me. My theory is that while The Buddha taught an ideal, it was also realized that there’s a very real process to ultimately achieving that ideal.

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Talk About Compassion

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What’s happening in Minnesota right now is a compelling example of compassion at work: neighbours seeing neighbours suffering, acknowledging that suffering, and stepping up in ways that are genuinely heroic. Bringing groceries to those who are afraid to leave their homes, coordinating rides for detainees, and defending the vulnerable, sometimes with their lives. Awareness and compassion go hand in hand, and equip us to act in the world, sometimes—most powerfully—against injustice. 

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F@%kceptance

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Accepting something doesn’t mean you like it. Acceptance is the act of acknowledging. This exists. That is happening. If I break my leg, I have to accept its brokenness in order to proceed skillfully. “Good vibes only” power of positive thinking isn’t going to unbreak it. Denial and avoidance will only make it worse. Feeling the pain, seeing the injury for what it is, is the first crucial step to making it better.

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Bringing it all together.

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In meditation, we remember our community. It is each other. It is our ancestors and the people who will be walking down our street long after we return to our solid place in the ground. Our community is the family of living things, and we are carried by the same current. 

This is why we built the CEC. To sit with each other in that ever-flowing current. To give and receive the encouragement and feedback that lets us know both which way to grow and if we are. It makes for a much better party.

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