Co-Regulation

Caitlin: In the beginning, there is no self-regulation. As infants, we need others to co-regulate. As we grow up, we are taught to regulate on our own – e.g. “go to your room to calm down.” We are then praised for being independent. This is a reminder that you don’t need to go it alone. As adults, we can mix it up. To co-regulate is to intentionally connect with others as a means to soothe and comfort ourselves. If we’ve been hurt by others it can feel vulnerable to enter back into human connection. We might judge co-regulation as needy or ‘co-dependent’ (spoiler alert: it’s not!). It’s actually very human to co-regulate, in the sense that we’re social mammals by nature. In this sit, we’ll explore our social natures and get curious about our edges and opportunities in connecting with others.