As we let go of a search for freedom. Or liberation or immortality or whatever word is as far away as the perfect wedding or train ride and begin to understand what we actually hold as incredibly more perfect because the million happenings have been smithing it from the beginning.
It is why we practice mindfulness. Not to get anywhere, but to be.
In Attachment Theory, the original sense of safety is provided by our primary caregiver. They either meet our needs consistently in a way that helps us trust that our needs will be met, or they don’t, which leads to a fundamental mistrust that others, and the world in general, will be able to meet our needs.
When we take this perspective, that a sense of safety helps us relax and trust, then we can begin to see that these principles aren’t actually in contrast to much of what’s taught in Buddhism.
Buddhism has these principles embedded all through it. If you were to become a traditional Buddhist, you’d do something that’s called Taking Refuge. You take refuge in The Three Jewels, which are The Buddha (the teacher or enlightened ideal), The Dharma (the teachings or truth of the path), and the Sangha (the community).
While the Buddha preached non-attachment, The Three Jewels definitely look like forms of attachment to me. My theory is that while The Buddha taught an ideal, it was also realized that there’s a very real process to ultimately achieving that ideal.
Meditation is ultimately about dropping as much of the framework or understanding as we can, and beholding directly the mystery of existence. The more we shed our ideas about what the world is, the more intimately we can encounter it.
Why do I feel so desperately lonely?
Because “I am” is now invisible: it is ungraspable, uncertain, unstable, perpetually withheld from my reach. “I am” is always becoming and persists at the end of time. “I am” is inexhaustible movement, relationship, fluxing transition between states. But “I am” is breathing me when “I think” I am breathing it. It is an affirmation of my existence. It is Change. Always changing (thank God, always changing).
I am a student of the late Vietnamese Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh, affectionately known as “Thay” (teacher). During the Vietnam War, he took part in peace marches in New York. He saw a lot of anger in the marchers, and he told them “if you want peace, be peace.” He knew that if you want peace in the world, you must cultivate peace in yourself.